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IELTS Writing Task 1: Line Graph Sample Part 3

Các Topic về Sample Test này mình sẽ giới thiệu với các bạn các dạng biểu đồ Line Graph, thất nhiều dạng để các bạn có thể tham khảo cho bài thi Ielts của mình nhé.

The graphs below show the numbers of male and female workers in 1975 and 1995 in several employment sectors of the republic of Freedonia.



 
Đây là 2 bài viết mẫu cho các bạn tham khảo. Ngoài ra còn rất nhiều cách tiếp cận biểu đồ này nhé.
 
Sample Answer 1:
The provided line graphs compare the employment history of men and women in 1975 and 1995 dividing in six major sectors namely: manufacturing, communications, finance/ banking, wholesale & retail trade, non-defence public sectors and defence public sectors. As is observed from the given illustration, significant changes have been made in women's employment and women appear to have made remarkable improvements in almost the entire job sectors in Freedonia and in some sectors women went well ahead of men.

Initially in 1975, men were notably ahead of women in every sector of employment. For example, in communication sector about 260 men worked against 220 women in every thousand employees. Twenty years later, though the number of men remained unchanged, the number of women rose to over 550 in one thousand. A similar trend can be seen in the wholesale and retail trade sector, where the number of women rose from about 550 to almost 800 in every 1000 employees of this sector two decades later. The number of men in this sector remained stable over the period, at around 700 / thousand.

Women also made their prominence in both the finance/ banking industries and in the defence-related public sector during this period. Where 125 women among one thousand employees worked in finance & banking institutions in 1975, this number increased to 450 by 1995. The number of men grew only marginally from 425 to 480 over the same period. In defence sector, the number of men declined from 225 to 200 per thousand, while the number of women rose from 25 to over 100 per thousand. Two sectors that remained almost stable in terms of men and women employee ration are manufacturing and public sector. In manufacturing about 300 women and 650 men worked in both surveyed years, and in public sector (non-defence), which employed 650 women and 850 men.

In conclusion, we can say that, women appear to have made gains in the work force in Freedonia and in some sectors they went well ahead compared to men.
(Approximately 338 words) 
 
Model Answer 2: 
The provided illustrations compare the male and female workers in different employment sectors in Freedonia over 20 years of time by providing data for the years 1975 and 1995. As is observed from the given line graphs, women were far behind in employment in Freedonia in 1975 but within 20 years they made remarkable progress almost in all sectors and went well ahead of men in communications and wholesale & retail trade sectors.

The graphs compare the number of male and female workers in 6 different sectors of Freedonia per thousand. In 1975, more men than women were employed in almost all the mentioned sectors of job categories. For instance, approximately 650 men were employed in manufacturing related jobs compared to only 300 women per thousand of total employees in the same sectors. In almost all other cases, the numbers of male employees were much higher than the women and in communication sectors men were bit ahead than female in their employment ration. After 20 years, in 1995, women made outstanding progress in Freedonian job sectors. For instance, in communication sectors almost 600 female were employed compared to 300 male workers per thousand. Women went ahead of men in wholesale & retail trade sectors too. Except for the public sectors (non-defence) women hold the trends of progress compared to men in all other sectors. In 1975 only about 40 women worked in defence sectors and this number grew to more than 100 per thousand after 20 years.
In summary women did remarkable progress in Freedonian job fields over 20 years and they went ahead of men in many job sectors.
(Approximately 270 words)   

Tips cho bài này nhé.
 
1. Two line graphs are provided in this writing task 1, so start the introduction part as follows:
          The given line graphs provides data on.....
          Do not use, the give line graph shows... as there are more than one graphs present in this question.

2. The two line graphs compare the number of male and female employees in 6 employment sectors in Freedonia. The first graph shows the data for the year 1975 while the second graph shows data for the year 1995.

3. The first graph shows that the male employees were well ahead in all the job sectors of Freedonia. But after 20 years that scenario has significantly changed  and women did a remarkable progress in the job sectors.

4. Initially in 1975, men were higher in number in terms of their involvement in different sectors. Only in Finance and Banking sector, female were close to the male.

5. After 20 years in 1995, the number of women employees crossed the number of men employees in communications & wholesale & retail trade sectors.

6. In communication sector, the number of women employees reached to 550 per thousand while this number was only 210 per thousand in 1975.

7. Do not only give the numbers of male and female employees in 6 job sectors of Freedonia for 1975 and 1995. Rather make the comparison of the male and female employee numbers and show some of the comparisons for women about how many of them were employed in 1975 and how these numbers have increased in 1995. Keep in mind that the writing expects you to be able to compare the women's improvement and increasing involvement in job sectors of Freedonia.

Summary of the graphs:
In Freedonia, women's involvement in major job sectors has increased remarkably in 20 years. Initially in 1975, they were less in number than the male employees in all the 6 major job sectors. But within 20 years, they did significant progress and have crossed the number of male employees in some sectors.
 
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